Shannon (notclevrgirl) wrote,

oh no, here comes that sound again. that means another day without you my friend...

i don't know what to do with my self.
i feel like it's all been this dream...
like it's not really going to happen.
when i go out, i feel like every car that drives bye is going to be full of my friends and they are going to pull over get out of the car and say

"just kidding shannon, we're not really

all though highschool i never had friends my own age.
when i was a freshman and soph. they were all older with a few friends in my gread...
van, elise, ben the boyfriend....
but the rest of the time it was eric williamson, sean, mike etc...
then something happened... i'm not too sure what it was exactly... and i was left without that older crowd...
so instead of falling to the kids in my grade again i found the younger ones...

and now... this summer i actually find my little place among the wonderful people i never got to know... and they are leaving me...

and what the hell is my heart thinking???
why would it ever ever fall for someone leaving?
i tried all summer not to like him.
i tried so hard
i made myself think he found me annoying, and silly, and rediculous...
but he didn't.
i'm not saying he totally fell in love with me...
but he genuinely liked me.
we had fun together.
and laughed.
and he really wanted to hang out and be with me.
i could not say goodbye.
but he's gone.


how am i going to deal with vanessa leaving
how the hell am i going to do that?
how about susie leaivng that same day.

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