Shannon (notclevrgirl) wrote,
Shannon
notclevrgirl

sing sweet softly

i can not do this
i want things to go back to how they used to be
i want my couch in my living room with my coffee table with the broken glass and two tvs... only the crappy one with pennies stuck to the top working.

i want dan to be sitting on the couch telling me how much he is in love with vanessa and can't stand it, and how he hates the boy i like just because i like him and he could never treat me as well as dan thinks i should be treated.

i miss being younger with elise and vanessa, playing dress up and talking about moving in together in maine when we get out of college.

i miss susie bursting in talking about the concieted selfish girls in her school. roaming around my house like a hurricane, and yelling, and laughing until it hurts.

i miss van, dan, nick, tim, foz, greg, and gen sitting in my house telling funny stories.

i miss shep, and the night with malibu.

i miss sitting on my couch with andy, watching tommy boy.

i miss lieing in my room with tom. not talking, but not needing to.

i miss the night max came over with an electric shaver, and the cops came because sammy was playing the guitar too loud.

i miss bbq at shannons 2001... where i loved my porch talk, and i loved the whole world... at least everyone in the room at the time.

i miss waking up and not knowing who was next to me.

i miss the spot on my wall in my room where ben leavitt wrote "i love you shannon, and don't forget that." that was covered up by a poster when we broke up.

i miss my mirror that was spray painted black and had words in white out around it.

i miss the dent in my floor.

i miss the wooden cabinets, and making raviolli at all hours of the night, because those and diet coke were the only things we ever had in.

i miss my attick and all the functions it served in my life.

i miss that matress we used to drag from upstairs.

i miss rehersing lines in my living room.


i can't write this any more. i am losing my mind. what the hell am i going to do? i can't live without susie. i can't. she has been my life support since i knew what a friend was.

i haven't cried before, why am i now.

fuck.
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